The H20 Factor...== This might not sound like the most pleasant discussion on one of North America's favorite drinks, but as one who's suffered through it, I believe more people should know... Fear NOT. This story has a HAPPY ending!
About ... a year ago, I was experiencing serious ...not so much stomach issues as ...I didn't really know what it was at the time. All I knew was that I was beginning to experience PAIN that felt like I was being SQUEEZED. Like a really large kid had me in their hands, squeezing me from the back and front at the same time. I went to my doctor any number of times about it, and he suggested a change of diet. This DID improve the situation.... sort of. The pain lessoned, but it was still there.
During one visit, he asked me what my COFFEE intake was like. I told him I had about a cup of coffee every day, before work. He recommended that I cut down my coffee intake. Odd, because others, including my boss, drank more than I did, and they didn't seem to be suffering. So what was I doing that they weren't? Or, more to the point, what were THEY drinking that I wasn't. In a word; WATER. Yes, you heard it right!
See, coffee has a dehydrating effect on people and if you don't drink enough WATER to counter-act the dehydrating effect of coffee, you may experience (if you aren't already) something I call INTESTINAL GRIDLOCK. There is no lubrication to move your food, and whatever else your system NEEDS to do, to expel exess gas, one way or the other.
Remember the famous scene in Blazing Saddles, where the guys are all sitting around the camp-fire, eating plates of beans and drinking coffee? In real life, they might not be farting so much as just about crying, depending on their water/coffee consumption ratio.
If you are currently experiencing that sort of SQUEEZING pain, I have the help you need. NO, I'm NOT a doctor. I didn't even play one on t.v. I'm just someone who's been there-done that. First off, to relieve immediate pain, you simply go to your local pharmacy and get 'gas tabs'.. They're an over-the-counter chewable tablet, that you can get in various flavors. Take one, as the instructions indictate and chase it with a tall glass of water; drunk slowly. Used as directed, the gas tabs will relieve immediate gas pain. In plain people-speak, you can burp and fart your way to happiness! It sounds funny but trust me, when you can't do either, you FEEL it and that's NOT funny!
The MAIN help, however, will be in the change of habit, where water is concerned. If you are a coffee drinker, (and I still am) PLEASE take my word for this; WATER is the key to being able to live without feeling like you're in the hands of an invisible kid, who's trying to squeeze the life out of you! Before and after a coffee, chase it with a glass of water. Bring ice water to work and make that part of your daily routine. However you do it, make sure you are getting enough water in your system to off-set the hydrant-zapping effect coffe can have on a body, or you'll find yourself watching the famous Farting scene in Blazing Saddles and envying the guys who CAN make that lovely sound. (minus the less-than-lovely fragrance).
In the famous words of that Carol King song, "Don't it always seem to go; that you don't know what you got til it's gone...."